We had a wonderful and safe trip home to Indiana. The longer I'm away from there the more I realize there is nothing more precious on earth than my family and a church full of people I've known all my life, who are as close to me as family. It was a wonderful blessing to be able to sit down and have great talks with friends of all ages.

There is something the human heart craves as much as love and that is acceptance. To be accepted and loved for who you are without feeling pressured to perform or fit a mold is freedom. It was a blessing for me to be able to go home and feel love and acceptance. 

The trip back to Indiana reminded me of who I was. I was inspired to come out here, believe God has brought me here for a purpose and make a difference where I'm at. I had a whole 2 days to think about as we were driving. My mind was whirling with a number of different ideas. I felt exited and refreshed and ready to face life out here.

The last 4 hours of our trip, we drove through a horrible snowstorm in the dark. What would normally be a nerve racking experience for both of us was amazingly peaceful. When we got home, Nate and I both talked about how calm we felt the entire time. I remember thinking and actually told Nate that if we can be calm under those circumstances and trust that God is totally in control, surely we could remain calm through other circumstances life hands us. It must have been the calm before the storm.

I woke up with all good intentions, but as my day progressed, life chipped away at my intentions. My inspiring thoughts were quickly tattered and left lying on my tear stained heart. The children needed attention in the area of discipline. Unpacking needed to be done. 5 loads of laundry needed to be washed. Lunch had to be made. And I'm not so sure my daughter is made of sugar and spice... This morning I gave her a bath, got her out of the tub n then had to bathe Cole. Why I let her run without a pamper I'm not sure - but to my regret I did. I got Cole out of the tub n went to check on her. I walked over to the steps and I smelled it. I'm not sure how she managed, but there was a pile deposited at the bottom of the steps and she was at the top. She was sliding down the steps on her bottom, leaving skid marks as she went. As though that wasn't enough, she was also squishing it between her fingers.  Ok - I know - enough on the details.  

There are the daily happenings in life that can get you down. But then there are other things in life that can leave you feeling like a misfit and like you are totally in the wrong place at the wrong time. Circumstances left me feeling this way today. Our wonderful weekend seemed to exaggerate those feelings. Nate stayed home an hour longer from his lunch break and helped me put the kids down for their naps. We spent time talking, crying and praying.

 The house is a wreck, but before he left for work he told me the sweetest thing - He said he doesn't care at all if the house looks this way when he comes home and he has to eat hotdogs for supper. He told me to make sure and take time for myself.  God definately used him to remind me He cares and provides for my needs. We both feel God really working in our lives. At times it really hurts. Being clay in the Potter's hand isn't always the most comfortable place to be. But it is the only place I have found true peace. I have to tell myself time and again - God has a purpose and He has a plan. Please pray for us as we search out His will and direction in our lives.

              Place in this World

The wind is moving, but I am standing still

A life of pages wating to be filled

A heart that's hopeful, A head that's full of dreams

But this becoming is harder than it seems.

Chorus

Show me I'm looking for a reason

Roaming through the night to find

My place in this world, My place in this world

Not a lot to lean on

I need your Light to help me find

My place in this world, My place in this world.

If there are millions down on their knees,

Among the many, can you still

Hear me asking, Where do I belong?

Is there a vision that I can call my own?

*Sung by Michael W. Smith

I'm loving my Saturday. I only wish Nate were here to enjoy it with me.

My son is tormenting me with the question "why?" I do my best to answer his first "why." My reward? another "why" quickly follows.

Example: this morning I pinched Allison's finger and she started crying. C -"Mom, why is Allison crying?" M -"I pinched her finger." C -"Why did you pinch her finger?" M -"I didn't mean to. It was an accident." C -"Why?" I explain to him that when I answer his questions, instead of asking "why" he needs to say "Oh, I see."

Wanna know a dirty little secret? The shower I took this morning was the first one I had since Thursday. Why shower if your husband is gone?  While soakin up the warm water I was singing "Thank-you Lord for your blessings on me" and praying my little blessings were behaving themselves. When I got out, I was relieved to discover they were.

I made taco soup for lunch. Didn't have any sour cream, so we substituted with plain yogurt. It tasted great.

When I sat down for lunch, my hair was still hanging. I grabbed the closest thing - a chip clip - and stuck it in my hair. Hey - my hair was clean and I'll be sure to wash the chip clip in hot water with clorox. Rather do that than find hair in my soup.

It's probly time my husband comes home and makes me behave.

I'm sure Nate will really be shocked when he comes home and discovers I've given his side of the bed to our laptop.

I love tucking my kids into bed for their naps. My heart melts every time Allison is laying in bed n she gets a little grin on her face and signs "I love you" by crossing her arms and pointing to me. It's funny cause she always points 2 - 3 times.

After a particularly challenging day with Cole, I came up with a little poem when I tucked him into bed that night. Now I say it to him whenever he lays down to sleep. "I love you when you're naughty. I love you when you're good. I love you when you don't listen. And I love you when you do the things you should. So now my dear little Coley, please close your eyes and sleep really good." He always asks me to say it over again at least 5 times.

Something I'm learning as a mom - My kids obey much better if I ask them to do something with a smile instead of barking out commands.

And to anyone who cares for a weather update - there is a lo of 7* in the forcast for tonight. All of you who are enjoying the beautiful colors of fall right now, soak some up for me.

Winter - how rude of you to barge in and take over the beauty of fall.

It is extremely offensive to have you arrive before the leaves have had a chance to fall and cover the ground with their beautiful colors.

You are not to show your face until the flowers have finished sharing their beautiful, cheery blooms.

So, with these rules of etiquette in mind, please mind your manners and LEAVE. and remember not to show your face until a more proper time.